September 15, 2009

A prime example of the energy-zapping passive voice

In an average week, TV is being watched by about 43 million in this audience and radio is being listened to by 37 million.

Nooooooooooes!

Let's recast that and put some oomph back in:

In an average week, about 43 million in this audience watch TV, and about 37 million listen to radio.

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On a related note, OMG, I'm sorry for never posting anymore. I really want to try harder, as I continue to see "good" examples of terrible offenses daily.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No, the first sentence is much better, because it correctly stresses the two subject nouns TV and radio byb putting them first. Your "anti-passive" version is weaker, because in each clause we have to wait until we lesrn what the subject of the clause is.