May 27, 2009

Let's count 'em down

which is
which are
that is
that are

(For example: "He encouraged shoppers to buy shoes that are made in the United States.")

No.

Many — no wait, MOST — times, these can be eliminated in favor of a less-clunky sentence. Cut cut cut!
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2 comments:

Tantra Flower said...

I agree with you 100%. And yet I find myself committing this very offense over and over and over again. I need an intervention. lol

May 27, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Unknown said...

Now that we're mosquito-sifting (Dutch expression for splitting hairs), I have always been taught that parenthetical thoughts should always be able to be completely left out without damaging the structure of the sentence. If not, they would obviously not be entirely parenthetical.

In the sentence "Many — no wait, MOST times — these can be eliminated...", the word "times" is necessary for the sentence as a whole. Leaving the parenthetical thought destroys the sentence.

However, to write "Many — no wait, MOST — times" does not seem ideal either, as the second dash suggests an unwelcome pause between "MOST" and "times" which would not occur when talking. Also, "Many times — no wait, MOST times" seems overly repetitive.

Any thoughts welcome!

May 28, 2009 at 6:28 PM

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