Let's play "What Adjective Did They Delete?"

As a copy editor, I'm always talking out of both sides of my mouth. That's missing a comma!...Noooo, don't put a comma THERE!

Here is a case of the latter (sorry for the reflection; I was being swift to avoid suspicion). 

This sign just begs for a Dirty Mad Libs moment.

In defense of the serial comma

If you'd asked me how I felt about the serial/Oxford comma when I was working in New York, you'd have quickly learned I was dead-set against it.  I thought it was too mucky, overkill, too much—and I was yet to've worked with a single stylebook that used it.

Now, working in Denver, I find it poetic, calming—even romantic. It's funny how people change*. I could say the same thing about the Mile High City itself, actually—so who knows what we're talking about anymore.

Without further ado, today's funny:

Thanks to Jess F. for the find.

*I also always put spaces around emdashes (btw, did you see this awhile back?) until Denver. Now, I like 'em better without. I'm just so accommodating and flexible.

I *told* you a comma can change everything!

Miss one little mark, and you risk turning a famous chef into a canine- and human-eating crazywoman.

Katie Holmes, please do not eat your staff

From Gawker Stalker today:


Ye olde apostrophe, it is your friend. Sometimes. When it feels like it.

Offensive things about this post No. 2 and 3: Lack of comma after girl; comma splice. I could go on, natch.

Whaaaaat is going on here?

You have to work really hard to make an apostrophe bend this way:

How did they do this? If there's a key command that does this, I sure as hell don't know about it!

I suck!

These signs, I guess for a new TV show, are all over Manhattan.



Of course, the most offensive thing about these is the lack of a comma before 'Sarah.'

I've found my personal hero

A dude named Jeff Deck is TRAVELING AROUND THE COUNTRY for three months correcting errors on signs. He carries around a Typo Correction kit that includes chalk, white-out and adhesive letters.

His blog is here. It is so deeply entertaining and hilarious. I can't stop reading it.

Details on his trip are here.

Thanks to correspondent B.W., who is getting a Ph.D., though not in grammar.

What would the wizard have to say about this?

Dear Margaret Hamilton,

I'm confused.

So, like, the part where you're writing in the sky with smoke that is somehow being emitted from your broom (all with amazing haste, no less), saying, "Surrender Dorothy"? Are you, like, speaking directly to her? As in "Surrender, Dorothy"? If so, your failure to smoke-draw a comma there creates a lack of clarity.

Or, perhaps you are saying, in a command form, "Surrender Dorothy!" as in, "Give her up and stop protecting her!" to the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion*?

There are two ways to interpret this, all thanks to a comma (or, in this case, a lack thereof). People like me need answers, Margaret Hamilton.

Also, props on the little loops in your R's. You must have a bit of girly spirit in there somewhere, you wicked old hag.

For this letter you can thanks TBS, as they aired TWOZ back-to-back last night, enabling me to ponder these sorts of things (and for giving me blog material).

Love,
Sarah

*Are those names supposed to be capped?

That's bad for your comma

Let's dive right in — I don't think commas are necessary to offset the below-mentioned dictator's name:

[via The New York Times]

I do believe we are in the presence of what I shall henceforth call Press Release Commas. Writers of such releases are quite keen to place commas around all name drops (i.e. Rock icon, Elvis Presley, has left the building). They'd no doubt like you to pause and gawk at all names they mention, hence the commas.

In the above case, I do believe Kim Jong-il acts as an appositive, and commas aren't needed there, because it is essential information in the sentence. Just like here:


If anyone cares to debate this, the floor is yours. I could be (and often am) wrong. Please, you discuss!

I've been called worse

Play it yourself here.

Press releases: Birthplace of grammar atrocities?

Dear all PR people,

Oh. My. God.

Love,
Sarah

P.S. Tell your coworkers to read my blog. K, love ya!

Explanation

The title "Your Sew Vein" is a blushing admission of my tendency to obsess on spelling/grammar/style errors beyond what some view as necessary, or sane. "People make mistakes," they say.

Yes, and I catch them.

This is that place to air our struggles with things that make the world go 'round ... such as love, money, dangling participles and crusading against the comma-happy masses.

"Up-and-coming artist, Tom Smith, will hold an exhibition Friday ... "

NO NO NO. You do not need a comma there. Or there. Take 'em out. Out!!